"Amy said, "Me too if I just sit here I will just go crazy withworrying."They all went into the kitchen and started preparing lunch.Lillian said, "Since the children have grown it will occasionally gettoo quiet for Elbert and I. I love hearing voices in this house otherthan just my own."As they were preparing lunch Lillian asked Regina, "What were youplanning to do when you got home?"Regina said, "This is September isn't it, I was going to get readyfor deer hunting. Most of us guys in Newkirk. And finally giving birth?the expulsion of the load?all in one act.Brooke experienced feelings not often remembered since toilet training when your mother is in control of your bowels. The enema giver is in the role of a parent. Brooke was not allowed to go potty until Michelle gave her permission; and that made her ?Momma?. Forcing Brooke to hold it and have a bowel movement when she said so brought the emotions and thoughts of the toddler within the older woman’s reach. Brooke was soon. Aglint of light to my left turned out to be a flashlight, which I usedto explore the area behind my bedroom wall. I felt like I was on anadventure!The opening in the paneling gave me access to an area about five feetwide. I knew the wall had to be an outside wall, the only one in myapartment except for the one by the front door, and had wondered whythere were no windows. It took me only a few moments to figure out thata second wall had long ago been built inside the outer wall to hide anancient. I had tried afew times and even managed to go days or weeks without indulging but itnever lasted."I want to make a deal with you. If you go along with it I won't groundyou and we'll overlook your dishonesty."Honesty was a big deal with my mother. "What's the deal?" I will buy you your own pantyhose and you will wear them everyday, allday, for the rest of the summer. At the end of the summer, you can wearthem or not. Your choice. But I think we will know by then how youreally feel about wearing.
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