I loved what Eric and I had together. But I feared that if we couldn’t grow beyond what we had, if we stagnated where we were, everything we had would likely wither and rot and die an ugly, horrible death. If we couldn’t have it all, was this enough? For either of us? Didn’t we deserve the much more that we both hungered for but couldn’t have? Eric listened to me, and like me, he wavered back and forth between “half a loaf is better than none” and “how do we find our way to the much more that. "I couldn't deny that it sounded nice. Too nice, in fact."Come on, Daddy." she pleaded. "It's just a bath. Unless you're worried that I'm going to try to seduce you," she said with a teasing smile on her face."Oh, no, that's not it at all," I replied. "I just ... well..."Her eyes lowered to my crotch, where I couldn't hide the rising lump in my pants."Oh, I see," she said with a smile. "Well, I don't mind if you don't." Um ... really?" I asked, surprised."Daddy, I know all about that, remember.. .Next morning I woke up late and get down in d hall for some breakfast everyone was done with breakfast I was alone left and I saw my sis in her nighty and strtd telling bad felling about her ,she was on phone texting someone and suddenly one idea clicked my mind and I made a fake wechat account ,i know she use wechat for chating and took her phone when she was busy in daily chores and saw her id and started messaging her from that nightFirst 2days she didnt reply me back as I was some stranger. I had some money again, a real foundation for regaining self-respect. Then a Czech friend offered me the long term use of his apartment in Prague. It didn’t matter where I worked out of: the office was just an email away. And I hated London now, couldn’t wait to leave. Time ticked on again and I settled in Prague, moving a couple of times but seeing, feeling it as home. My mind cleared and the clouds drifted away. I was still crap with women, but these were Czech women and therefore ‘exotic’. I.
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